Joke of the day

'dear te, dear te, dear te!!!'
-sigaw ni Anabel Rama kay Lorin at
Veniz (mga anak ni Rofa) habang
naglalaro ng tubig sa kanal.
=========
<>MRS: hon, am I pretty or ugly?
MR: uhm.. both..
MRS: anong both? Pwedeng pretty and
ugly?
MR: ang ibig ko sabihin, you're pretty
ugly.
= ========
TEACHER: okay class our lesson for
today is science. What is science?
PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am!
TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science?
PEDRO: science is our lesson for today.
=========<>AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(nilabas ni Inday)
INDAY: off you go! Under no
circumstance this house would relent to
such unabashed display of vagrant
destituti on!
PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a
mansion of social climbing freaks!
(nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday!)
NOSEBLEED !!! .hehehe
=========
BOB: nakakamagkano ka sa 1 araw?
PULUBI: nag-uumpisa kasi ako ng 8am.
Ngayon 9am na. naka 80 na ko.
BOB: hindi din masama noh? Ano mabibili
mo niyan?
PULUBI: pwede na tong isang espresso
macchiat o sa starbucks!
====== ===
DOC: umubo ka!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: ubo pa!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: okay.
PEDRO: ano po ba sakit ko doc?
DOC: may ubo ka.
==========
TRIVIA: do you know how they make
rubber gloves in China ?
Workers deep their hands into melted
latex, then air-dry them.
Now guess how they make condoms?
======== ==
Why God invented menopause:
Once upon a time, a 70 year old woman
gave birth.
BISITA: pwedeng makita ang baby mo?
MOM: mamaya na.
30 minutes after.
BISITA: pwede na bang makita?
MOM: oo, pero hintay muna tayo na
umiyak kasi nakalimutan ko kung saan ko
linagay.
== =========
in a miss gay pageant:
HOST: how can we uplift our economy
today even though we are under economic
crisis?<>BAKLA: (namutla) mga bakla! Akala ko ba miss gay ito? Quizbee pala!
===========
Sexy girl nagkukumpisal:
PA RI: iha, ano ang iyong ikukumpisal?
SEXY : father, pag nakakarinig po ako ng lalaking nagmumura di ko mapigilan sarili ko na yayain siya magsex!
PARI: 'tang ina! Di nga?
===========<>TEACHER: ano ang pambansang ibon?
BOY: chicken?
TEACHER: hindi! kulay brown ito!
BOY: fried chicken!
TEACHER: hindi! mas maliit ito sa
chicken.
BO Y: knorr chicken cubes!
TEACHER: get out!
===========<>when your lips are silent and your eyes are closed and your ears are deaf. It only means one thing. May discount ka sa jeep. Disabled ka 'tol, disabled!
======= ====
The Philippine presidents flying in a
plane.
GMA: what if I throw a check for a
million pesos out the window to make at
least 1 Filipino happy?
CORY: but my dear, why don't you throw
2 checks for half a million each and
thus make 2 Filipinos happy?
RAMOS: why not throw four checks for a
quarter of a million each and make four
Filipinos happy?
And on it went until finally, Erap
blurts out:
"but madam president, why not simply
throw yourself out of the window and
make all the Filipinos happy?"
========= ===
a great example of globalization:
pr incess Diana, a Welsh princess with
an Egyptian fiancé, crashed in a French
tunnel while riding in a German car
with a Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was drunk on Scottish
whisky, chased by Italian paparazzis on
Japanese big bikes. An American doctor
tried to save them using Brazilian
meds. This message was made by a
Filipino on a Finnish Nokia phone
smuggled from China by a Pakistani
based in Quiapo.
========= ===
1. Trulalu.
2. eklavu
3. eklavu.
4. trulalu
5. eklavu
6. trulalu
7. trulalu.
8. eklavu
9. trulalu
10. trulalu
-batang bading nagsasagot ng true or
false na quiz.
=========== = =
MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno
ng kotse niyo.
CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan?
MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang
inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!
============ =

The guy's RUles...

The Guys' Rules

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem See a doctor.

1. Anyth ing we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can

to give them a bigger laugh

Men wear skirts

Scotland is a place in UK where men wear skirts. Still, the big question keeps on flashing in my mind why are they wearing a woman's attire which somehow degrade their status, specially when they're serving as guards for the royalties and ..... oh yes, the Queen !!

But now we know. Here are some reasons why.
Skirts are simply cool & refreshing!!!

dNeero: another source of extra income

I joined this site in order for me to earn an extra income on dNeero: True Social Network Currency. So why don't you try out guys.. LOL its easy and fun.







if your bored and got nothing else to do, just join the site and earn on taking surveys. BOWWWW

Low-pressure area off E Visayas to dissipate - Pagasa

News News News

05/21/2008 | 08:15 AM
copy and paste from GMANEWS.tv

MANILA, Philippines - A low-pressure area (LPA) was spotted off Eastern Visayas early
Wednesday, but state weather forecasters said it is not likely to develop into a tropical cyclone like "Cosme" or "Dindo."

Philippine Atmospheric Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration (Pagasa) forecaster Nonoy About said Wednesday the LPA is likely to dissipate instead of strengthen.

"Magdi-dissipate din ito. Wala tayong nakikitang prognosis magiging tropical cyclone ito (It will likely dissipate. We do not see any prognosis indicating it will develop into a tropical cyclone)," About said in an interview on dzBB radio.

He said the next cyclone will be code-named "Enteng." He noted an average of some 20 cyclones hit the country every year.

Pagasa's 5 a.m. advisory said that as of 2 a.m., the LPA was estimated at 910 kilometers east of Southern Visayas, embedded along the intertropical convergence zone affecting Visayas and Mindanao.

"Visayas and Mindanao will experience mostly cloudy skies with scattered rainshowers and thunderstorms becoming frequent rains over Northeastern Mindanao," it said.

The rest of the country will be partly cloudy to at times cloudy with isolated rainshowers or thunderstorms mostly in the afternoon or evening.

Light to moderate winds blowing from the east and southeast will prevail over Luzon and Visayas and coming from the southwest and southeast over Mindanao.

Coastal waters throughout the entire archipelago will be slight to moderate except during thunderstorms. - GMANews.TV